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Post by Slacker on Jan 9, 2010 15:57:40 GMT -5
My name is Lt. Aldo"Slacker" Raines and I'm putting together a special team, and I need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers. Now, y'all might've heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we'll be leaving a little earlier. We're gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. And once we're in enemy territory, as a bushwhackin' guerrilla army, we're gonna be doin' one thing and one thing only... killin' Natzees. Now, I don't know about y'all, but I sure as heck didn't come down from the goshdarn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half of Sicily and jump out of a frickkin' air-o-plane to teach the Natzees lessons n humanity. Natzeei ain't got no humanity. They're the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin', mass murderin' maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That's why any and every every son of a gun we find wearin' a Natzeei uniform, they're gonna die. Now, I'm the direct descendant of the mountain man Jim Bridger. That means I got a little Injun in me And our battle plan will be that of an Apache resistance. We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And the German won't not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the points of our barrels. And the German will be sickened by us, and the German will talk about us, and the German will fear us. And when the German closes their eyes at night and they're tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with. But I got a word of warning for all you would-be paintball warriors. When you join my command, you take on debit. A debit you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Natzee scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y'all will git me one hundred Natzee scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred bunkerd Natzees. Or you will die tryin'.
(OOC I in no way am trying to portray our fellow players on the german side as evil or jewhaters and hope that everyone takes this post inthe light hearted goodnatured way it was intended)
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Post by Traffic on Jan 9, 2010 16:43:21 GMT -5
i'm Seminole and Cherokee. so i care not for you Apache. but i will bargain and give you 50 scalps
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Post by pickle on Jan 9, 2010 17:50:48 GMT -5
I'm Jewish American, I'm in.
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Post by wallace on Jan 9, 2010 17:58:35 GMT -5
Your the General. I'll go in your place I'm Jewish....enough..
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Post by pickle on Jan 9, 2010 18:01:39 GMT -5
Awww man, I guess your right.
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Post by wallace on Jan 9, 2010 18:03:27 GMT -5
you thats kinda funny if you think about it.... and we're fighting the germans  |
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Post by William Hootkins on Jan 9, 2010 18:04:15 GMT -5
IRONY!!!!
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Post by Slacker on Jan 9, 2010 18:20:01 GMT -5
For starters there is only one Slacker in this unit. But if you want to sign up with us you owe me that debt and I might be part injun but I'm also part jew and everyone knows you don't try to cheat a jew.
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Post by Slacker on Jan 9, 2010 18:24:04 GMT -5
Wallace you're not a jew, your jew-ish!  |
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Post by William Hootkins on Jan 9, 2010 19:10:48 GMT -5
everyone knows you don't try to cheat a jew. only in soviet russia |
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Post by Slacker on Jan 9, 2010 19:45:08 GMT -5
Hey hootikins I got poem for you.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
In soviet russia
Poem writes you!
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Post by Lil Gimpy on Jan 9, 2010 22:02:33 GMT -5
*gimpy rolls across the floor unable to breathe from laughing.*
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Post by Juggernaut*BWC on Jan 11, 2010 5:15:28 GMT -5
I'm Jewish American, I'm in. I'm American. I happen to be Jewish by religion and ethnicity. |
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Post by Slacker on Jan 11, 2010 20:20:53 GMT -5
In the effort to make this game more fun for all, and most fun for us americans I am creating a genuine squad for this game. Heretoforward known as the inglorius b/tards (due to copyright laws). We will be the delta force of the american side and report directly to the american high command. We will be Pickle's Hebrew Hammer. (judiasm is not an actual pre-req) There are 8 spots open on the b/tards and they are open to all players regardless of team affiliation. Some of you might be wondering why on earth you would want to run with a bunch of guys you don't know when you already have your own team? Well the inglorious b/tards are going to have there own special role to play in this game and speaking of roles anyone who has seen me knows I'm a heavy gunning role player and if I can't get a role ill make one so if anyone has been curious about wanting to take a role at a scenario game but concerned about what's expected of them shoot me a pm about being on the unit, I promise it will be fun experience. The characters listed below are placeholders if you want to run with us ill fill the role and or replace the name with yours or one of you own creation.
Available positions
TAKEN Sgt Donny "the Bear Jew" Donkowitz: likes to get up close and personal with the german. Really fond of his baseball bat. ( maybe if you start begging ronn now, by april he'll consider letting you use a foam baseball bat to get "bat kills")
Lt archie hicox: on loan from the royal airforce hicox is a renowned film critic but needs to work on his german accent
Sgt. Hugo stiglitz one of the two german born members of the inglorious b/tards. Personnaly killed 13 gestapo officers. Believes that if violence wasn't your last resort, you didn't resort to enough of it.
TAKEN Pfc. Smithson "the little man" Utovich: can take cover anywhere and is fast on the trigger. Believes in peace through superior fire power.
Cpl wilhelm wicki: the other german born member of the b/tards master of deception, capable of walking to the german cp, shaking hands with the general and then blowing the cp with no around you the wiser
Cpl Omar ulmar: combat engineer. Top german scientists have to tried to recreate his jury-rigged repairs screaming "Omar Ulmar fixed this in a cave! With a box of scraps!"
Pfc Gerold Hirschberg: sharp shooter. Famous quote "BOOM! Headshot! In the faaaccce!!!"
Zimmerman. Field medic. Most commonly uses his skills to set IVs to ward off hang-overs but is more than ready to jump into a firefight to get his guys back on the line.
P.s. hey coastie, so i herd u liek mudkipz
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Post by Rook on Jan 14, 2010 1:58:56 GMT -5
PFC Utivich Reporting for duty..ready to shoot some nazis. Just point me in the right direction
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